Ok, so the year mark for my 2nd Lap isn't until Tuesday, June 1st, but as I'll be working one of my 12 hr shifts @ the hospital, I doubt I'll get on and blog afterward. Plus, the blog was in serious need of updating, so I thought I'd kill 2 birds with one stone tonight.
Here I am, one year out from my last surgery and I have to say, I feel pretty dang good! The verdict on this whole Mirena thing is that while the first few months were a bit onerous, I do not regret it one bit. This lovely contraption has pretty much stopped my periods all together (with the exception of a few days of spotting every once in a blue moon) and I haven't been in any considerable amount of pain in so long that I can hardly remember. Have I been 100% pain free? No, obviously not, BUT have I had to take anything stronger than some Advil every once in a while? NOPE and that's a miracle, considering how I was dependent on Percocet and Zofran to even be able to function this time last year... phew, I'm glad that's in the past.
How long will this blessed break from h*ll last? Who knows, but for now I will certainly take it! I know its just a temporary fix, but for me it has worked a whole lot better than all the gazillion other things/pills I've tried in the past. I'm also aware that it probably doesn't work for everyone, but I'm glad it's done what it's done for me. Hopefully things will continue this way until we are ready for IVF and can get this little sucker yanked!
Showing posts with label Laparoscopy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laparoscopy. Show all posts
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Sad Tale of a Stubborn Stich Named Stan
There was once a stitch by the name of Stan. Stan was born with two missions in life: 1) Hold his assigned incision closed tightly until it had healed and 2) Once finished with his first mission, quietly and quickly dissolve and return to that great big pile of dissolvable stitches in the sky... But no, this stitch was special. You see, Stan was a particularly stubborn stitch. His goal was to be the strongest stitch out there, and do the very best job he could at keeping his assigned home (incision) safely closed up. So zealous was Stan about his first duty, that he began forgetting about (or ignoring, in my opinion) his second duty.
One by one, Stan's stitchy buddies began saying farewell as the weeks went by and Stan's home healed and closed tightly. Yet Stan stood steadfast and immovable. Each day Stan's home would check to see if Stan was still there, and sure enough, he was. After a few weeks, something long and metallic began pulling on him every few days, but Stan did his best to hold on... and hold on he did. "Why is my home trying to pull me out?" wondered Stan. Resolved to make his home proud, he held on even tighter, and did his best to be visible and poke his home several times a day to remind it the he, Stan the Stubborn Stitch, was still there... doing his duty.
Today however, was a sad day for Stan the stitch. Countless times, that long metal instrument had failed to pluck him from his home. Today his home tried again, but with a much less formidable enemy... fingers. "Ha!" laughed Stan... "You shall never overcome me, Stan the Stubborn Stitch! I shall stand my ground forev-""Yes!" cried Stan's home as all of a sudden Stan found himself trapped between two fingers. "Finally!" the home screamed. And with that, Stan was chucked unceremoniously into a nearby trashcan.
The End :)
One by one, Stan's stitchy buddies began saying farewell as the weeks went by and Stan's home healed and closed tightly. Yet Stan stood steadfast and immovable. Each day Stan's home would check to see if Stan was still there, and sure enough, he was. After a few weeks, something long and metallic began pulling on him every few days, but Stan did his best to hold on... and hold on he did. "Why is my home trying to pull me out?" wondered Stan. Resolved to make his home proud, he held on even tighter, and did his best to be visible and poke his home several times a day to remind it the he, Stan the Stubborn Stitch, was still there... doing his duty.
Today however, was a sad day for Stan the stitch. Countless times, that long metal instrument had failed to pluck him from his home. Today his home tried again, but with a much less formidable enemy... fingers. "Ha!" laughed Stan... "You shall never overcome me, Stan the Stubborn Stitch! I shall stand my ground forev-""Yes!" cried Stan's home as all of a sudden Stan found himself trapped between two fingers. "Finally!" the home screamed. And with that, Stan was chucked unceremoniously into a nearby trashcan.
The End :)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Still alive!
Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been pretty much sleeping/lounging around... a lot. I decided against going back to work this week, especially with that terrible rash and still being in a considerate amount of pain. I think that's the Mirena because its very crampy like pain, very different from the pain I experienced post-op last time, sans Mirena. I've also had a lot of spotting, which I also attribute to the Mirena, argh.
My rash is getting better! The combo of Prednisone and Benadryl is finally starting to kick it, although I still have itchy moments throughout the day. At least I can tolerate clothing now... another reason I decided against going to work this week- I didn't think they'd like it if I came back naked, heehee. I've been slowly forcing myself to stay in clothes longer and longer each day as Monday is the BIG day when I absolutely have to go back. :(
My insicions are healing nicely. Still a bit tender, but thats normal. My bellybutton is the stubborn one though, still hurts like the dickens! Waist bands are murder, and while I protect it with gauze, it is still quite bothersome. Today was the first day it hasn't bled after wearing clothes, so I guess thats a good thing!
Energy wise I'm starting to feel a lot better. I'm going to have a hard time giving up my numerous daily naps, but at least I can sleep in late since I don't go in until 12:30PM each day! I know I should expect to still be tired for a few weeks, so I'm not expecting too much from myself this next coming week...
That's it I guess. My 6 week postop is on July 15th, entirely too far away for me, but oh well. I'm sure time will start flying by once I start working again.
My rash is getting better! The combo of Prednisone and Benadryl is finally starting to kick it, although I still have itchy moments throughout the day. At least I can tolerate clothing now... another reason I decided against going to work this week- I didn't think they'd like it if I came back naked, heehee. I've been slowly forcing myself to stay in clothes longer and longer each day as Monday is the BIG day when I absolutely have to go back. :(
My insicions are healing nicely. Still a bit tender, but thats normal. My bellybutton is the stubborn one though, still hurts like the dickens! Waist bands are murder, and while I protect it with gauze, it is still quite bothersome. Today was the first day it hasn't bled after wearing clothes, so I guess thats a good thing!
Energy wise I'm starting to feel a lot better. I'm going to have a hard time giving up my numerous daily naps, but at least I can sleep in late since I don't go in until 12:30PM each day! I know I should expect to still be tired for a few weeks, so I'm not expecting too much from myself this next coming week...
That's it I guess. My 6 week postop is on July 15th, entirely too far away for me, but oh well. I'm sure time will start flying by once I start working again.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Are you kidding me??!
I seriously thought that this Lap would be completely different from my first one, in the sense that we were better prepared and knew how to avoid those bumps in the recovery road that plagued me 2 years ago. Apparently though, my body had a plan to prove us wrong...
1) Last time I got oral thrush a few days post-op. This time I got it again... so I'm back on the Nystatin for that, hooray. My biggest qualm with this is the fact that by now I should be enjoying yummy solid meals but instead I'm still stuck drinking soups and eating pudding/jello because it hurts SO bad to chew and swallow!!! ARGH!!
2) I've also got another yeast infection (vaginal) like last time...*sigh*
and the best one yet:
3) Remember how I had that rash from the Dermabond and we discussed other forms of wound closure to avoid that? Well, he used stitches instead (so no adhesive at all) but guess what showed up last night? THE RASH!!! Last time it started small and spread from my inscisions out, this time it just appreared all over in the span of a day! I was itchy one minute (no rash) and then by nightfall yesterday, there it was... everywhere! I'ts been driving me bonkers and I spent most of last night with a cold washcloth, alternating places on my belly. I'v already started the hydrocortisone cream, but I know thats not going to work b/c it didn't do anything last time either. What am I allergic to?!?! My new theory is Iodine. They went to town on me with that stuff (much more than last time) and I'd been itching a little for days. It's super sticky though, so I've been working on gently scrubbing it off in the shower daily(ouchie!!!) but I guess that wasn't fast/good enough because here I am all itchy and blistery again...
I am anxiously awaiting 9am so that I can call my doc and let him know our plan was debunked... *sigh*
1) Last time I got oral thrush a few days post-op. This time I got it again... so I'm back on the Nystatin for that, hooray. My biggest qualm with this is the fact that by now I should be enjoying yummy solid meals but instead I'm still stuck drinking soups and eating pudding/jello because it hurts SO bad to chew and swallow!!! ARGH!!
2) I've also got another yeast infection (vaginal) like last time...*sigh*
and the best one yet:
3) Remember how I had that rash from the Dermabond and we discussed other forms of wound closure to avoid that? Well, he used stitches instead (so no adhesive at all) but guess what showed up last night? THE RASH!!! Last time it started small and spread from my inscisions out, this time it just appreared all over in the span of a day! I was itchy one minute (no rash) and then by nightfall yesterday, there it was... everywhere! I'ts been driving me bonkers and I spent most of last night with a cold washcloth, alternating places on my belly. I'v already started the hydrocortisone cream, but I know thats not going to work b/c it didn't do anything last time either. What am I allergic to?!?! My new theory is Iodine. They went to town on me with that stuff (much more than last time) and I'd been itching a little for days. It's super sticky though, so I've been working on gently scrubbing it off in the shower daily(ouchie!!!) but I guess that wasn't fast/good enough because here I am all itchy and blistery again...
I am anxiously awaiting 9am so that I can call my doc and let him know our plan was debunked... *sigh*
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Gas pains = no sleepy :(
So here I am, awake and hurting at 4:30am. Just like last time, I cannot lay down because the gas pains are excruciating in that position. Sleeping sitting up is just not very comfortable, and this is my 5th time waking up due to this dilemma. Grrr...
I figured I might as well do something to distract myself and maybe sleep will come... eventually! So here's my Lap experience:
Bowel prep- So glad that's over! Not fun, but then again could I have expected anything more? lol
We arrived at the hospital at 5AM sharp. They got me all prep-ed and then the torture began... waiting... waiting... and waiting some more. About 1 1/2 hours later my Anesthesiologist came in to talk with us and promised me a sedative b/c I was pretty anxious at that point. Then my doc came in and we chitchatted for another little while. Then my nurse arrived with that blessed little syringe full of the good stuff. I kissed Ben, they doped me up and off we went. I saw a little too much of the OR this time, which freaked me out, but then they put on my gas mask and bam, I was out!
I woke up to a nurse putting my abdominal binder on (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, LOVE that thing!)asking me if I was in pain. YES! She gave me something, brought more warm blankies and then off we went to phase 2 recovery. I had to transfer myself to a recliner (ouch!) and after my vitals were taken, Ben was allowed to come in. Forty-five minutes later I was just one big mess of tears... sooooooo much pain! They had already given me 2 Percocets and an 800mg Ibuprofen, but to no avail. My chest was hurting so bad and the crying wasn't helping so my doc ordered I'd be given some Morphine. Oddly enough that just barely took the edge off. I was still shaking and bawling and the nurse felt awful because I wasn't getting any relief/ Paged my doc again and this time they gave me 1/2 a dose of Demerol. THAT did the trick! Once the pain was under control, they got me some apple juice and saltine crackers, yuuuuum! It felt really good to eat and sip, that totally helped! Right before they discharged me (early afternoon) they gave me the other 1/2 dose of Demerol for the ride home. We received instructions on how to care for and remove my catheter at home, Ben was given all my post-op in instructions and Rx's and that was it! I don't really remember much about the ride home due to the Demerol, but at least it wasn't super painful, right? :)
So this is what they found: Endo was back (duh) though not nearly as bad as last time in 2007. Lots of adhesions and endometriomas. My right ovary (the one that gives me the most grief) was stuck to my abdominal wall, so he freed that and wrapped it in that filmy stuff. I had a fibroid on the outside of my uterus removed, as well as a polyp on the inside. He cleared out my tubes, did a D&C and then inserted the Mirena. The surgery itself took about 1 1/2 hours, so not too bad. I got some pictures to take home with me, thats always fun!
The pain has been manageable with the Percocet and Ibuprofen, though I take them right on time b/c if I wait too long that pain gets insane and then I'm stuck writhing around for 45 minutes while the pills kick in. This time I have 3 incisions instead of 4. Doc said the incisions are closed with sutures but I have yet to see them since they put big bandages over them. I can take them off in the shower today if I want and then replace them with fresh/clean/dry ones. The catheter comes out today was well which should also improve my comfort level.
I go back in 6 weeks for my post-op and to check the Mirena. This time around seems to be a bit easier than last, so I'm hoping the recovery will go smoother. Ben is taking excellent care of me, I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful hubby!
Ok, pain is creeping back up... I better go and get some rest. More updates to come!
I figured I might as well do something to distract myself and maybe sleep will come... eventually! So here's my Lap experience:
Bowel prep- So glad that's over! Not fun, but then again could I have expected anything more? lol
We arrived at the hospital at 5AM sharp. They got me all prep-ed and then the torture began... waiting... waiting... and waiting some more. About 1 1/2 hours later my Anesthesiologist came in to talk with us and promised me a sedative b/c I was pretty anxious at that point. Then my doc came in and we chitchatted for another little while. Then my nurse arrived with that blessed little syringe full of the good stuff. I kissed Ben, they doped me up and off we went. I saw a little too much of the OR this time, which freaked me out, but then they put on my gas mask and bam, I was out!
I woke up to a nurse putting my abdominal binder on (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, LOVE that thing!)asking me if I was in pain. YES! She gave me something, brought more warm blankies and then off we went to phase 2 recovery. I had to transfer myself to a recliner (ouch!) and after my vitals were taken, Ben was allowed to come in. Forty-five minutes later I was just one big mess of tears... sooooooo much pain! They had already given me 2 Percocets and an 800mg Ibuprofen, but to no avail. My chest was hurting so bad and the crying wasn't helping so my doc ordered I'd be given some Morphine. Oddly enough that just barely took the edge off. I was still shaking and bawling and the nurse felt awful because I wasn't getting any relief/ Paged my doc again and this time they gave me 1/2 a dose of Demerol. THAT did the trick! Once the pain was under control, they got me some apple juice and saltine crackers, yuuuuum! It felt really good to eat and sip, that totally helped! Right before they discharged me (early afternoon) they gave me the other 1/2 dose of Demerol for the ride home. We received instructions on how to care for and remove my catheter at home, Ben was given all my post-op in instructions and Rx's and that was it! I don't really remember much about the ride home due to the Demerol, but at least it wasn't super painful, right? :)
So this is what they found: Endo was back (duh) though not nearly as bad as last time in 2007. Lots of adhesions and endometriomas. My right ovary (the one that gives me the most grief) was stuck to my abdominal wall, so he freed that and wrapped it in that filmy stuff. I had a fibroid on the outside of my uterus removed, as well as a polyp on the inside. He cleared out my tubes, did a D&C and then inserted the Mirena. The surgery itself took about 1 1/2 hours, so not too bad. I got some pictures to take home with me, thats always fun!
The pain has been manageable with the Percocet and Ibuprofen, though I take them right on time b/c if I wait too long that pain gets insane and then I'm stuck writhing around for 45 minutes while the pills kick in. This time I have 3 incisions instead of 4. Doc said the incisions are closed with sutures but I have yet to see them since they put big bandages over them. I can take them off in the shower today if I want and then replace them with fresh/clean/dry ones. The catheter comes out today was well which should also improve my comfort level.
I go back in 6 weeks for my post-op and to check the Mirena. This time around seems to be a bit easier than last, so I'm hoping the recovery will go smoother. Ben is taking excellent care of me, I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful hubby!
Ok, pain is creeping back up... I better go and get some rest. More updates to come!
Monday, June 1, 2009
It's over, phew!
I survived! I'm home now. Lots of pain.. lots and lots of pain. Thank goodness for morphine and demerol, I thought I was going to die when I woke up. More details to come when I'm feeling a little better. Thanks for the prayers and well wishes!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
WOOHOO!!!
FEVER IS G-O-N-E!!!! Woooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo!!! :) Thanks everyone for all the support! Boy am I relieved!!! Surgery here I come!!! (Now onto the yucky bowel prep... *sigh* heehee) I'll have Ben come on here tomorrow and update if I'm not feeling up to it. Thanks again!!! :)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Still burning
Woke up feeling not so great again... still have a fever. Called in sick again as a last ditch effort to hopefully help my body heal by tomorrow. I'm starting to get really worried now... Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, I'll keep updating. Now I'm off to the couch and my gatorade.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Early bowel prep from H*LL!
Last night I went to bed feeling cruddy. My head was killing me and I just felt "icky" (yes, I know, such a medically accurate term!) so I took some 8-hour Tylenols and went to bed. I woke up at 5AM shivering and feeling even worse. I had a fever and nausea/diarrhea as well... great. When my pre-op nurse called this morning to get everything rolling I told her about this and she told me I needed to contact my doc ASAP because this might cause my surgery to be canceled. WHAT?!?! I guess I should have known, but I wasn't thinking too far ahead at that point. So I called and left a message with his nurse and he called me back after a while to find out more about what was going on.
He suspects its just a viral stomach bug but said that we'll have to monitor how I'm feeling over the weekend before we can safely proceed with the Lap. I am to keep taking my temps and if I have even a smidge of a fever still on Sunday, the surgery is off. Noooooooooooooooooo!!! :( My instructions for now are to stay home, rest/sleep as much as I can, and stay well hydrated. On the upside, he said this will make my bowel prep on Sunday easier since there won't hardly be anything left in me to clean out... hooray... :/
So yeah... nothing left to do but watch and wait. I'm stocked up on Sprite and Gatorade and will spend the rest of the day on the couch watching movies/sleeping I suppose. My head is finally starting to feel a little better, thank goodness and my fever seems to be coming down a smidge as I no longer feel like my eyeballs are boiling in their sockets. I hope and pray this blows over by Sunday because I will be crushed if I can't get this Lap over with on Monday... these past 6 weeks have been hell and the only thing that kept me going was my countdown to this day... *sigh*
He suspects its just a viral stomach bug but said that we'll have to monitor how I'm feeling over the weekend before we can safely proceed with the Lap. I am to keep taking my temps and if I have even a smidge of a fever still on Sunday, the surgery is off. Noooooooooooooooooo!!! :( My instructions for now are to stay home, rest/sleep as much as I can, and stay well hydrated. On the upside, he said this will make my bowel prep on Sunday easier since there won't hardly be anything left in me to clean out... hooray... :/
So yeah... nothing left to do but watch and wait. I'm stocked up on Sprite and Gatorade and will spend the rest of the day on the couch watching movies/sleeping I suppose. My head is finally starting to feel a little better, thank goodness and my fever seems to be coming down a smidge as I no longer feel like my eyeballs are boiling in their sockets. I hope and pray this blows over by Sunday because I will be crushed if I can't get this Lap over with on Monday... these past 6 weeks have been hell and the only thing that kept me going was my countdown to this day... *sigh*
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Why I love my doctor
He's just the greatest! I went in today for my annual/pre-op and as those are usually pretty painful for us Endo sistas, I was really apprehensive... He worked his super quick magic and it was done before I could even get all worked up and ready for the pain! That man is a genius, seriously. My hero.
So I got all the pre-op questions out and we came to a nice little agreement: 1) No surgical glue!!! After my rash last time, NO WAY. Phew! 2) He'll leave the catheter in for me this time (yes, per my request) since I had such a horrible experience last time with not being able to pee for HOURS and it hurt soooooooo bad! He may even let me come home with it and just teach me how to take it out myself so that I don't end up having to go back in to get one placed if I had problems at home. 3) He's going to work his magic with the hospital red-tape and code my Mirena insertion a different way so that they let him place it during the surgery. (It's a Catholic hospital and they don't allow birth control) Thankfully, Mirena is used for stuff other than BC (like bleeding and pain) so he thinks there should be no problem.
I got my scripts for the cytotec (to dialate my cervix since he'll be doing a hysteroscope, HSG, and D&C) and my little behind-the-ear-nausea patch that I loved so much last time! So yup, I'm all set! June 1st is the big day, so less than a month to go. I'd been dreading today, but I'm all sorts of optomistic right now, after that visit. My nurses were just great and so very comforting. If I ever move away from here, I'm gonna have to pack him and his staff all up in a suitcase and take them with me! :)
So I got all the pre-op questions out and we came to a nice little agreement: 1) No surgical glue!!! After my rash last time, NO WAY. Phew! 2) He'll leave the catheter in for me this time (yes, per my request) since I had such a horrible experience last time with not being able to pee for HOURS and it hurt soooooooo bad! He may even let me come home with it and just teach me how to take it out myself so that I don't end up having to go back in to get one placed if I had problems at home. 3) He's going to work his magic with the hospital red-tape and code my Mirena insertion a different way so that they let him place it during the surgery. (It's a Catholic hospital and they don't allow birth control) Thankfully, Mirena is used for stuff other than BC (like bleeding and pain) so he thinks there should be no problem.
I got my scripts for the cytotec (to dialate my cervix since he'll be doing a hysteroscope, HSG, and D&C) and my little behind-the-ear-nausea patch that I loved so much last time! So yup, I'm all set! June 1st is the big day, so less than a month to go. I'd been dreading today, but I'm all sorts of optomistic right now, after that visit. My nurses were just great and so very comforting. If I ever move away from here, I'm gonna have to pack him and his staff all up in a suitcase and take them with me! :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
T minus 40...
...Days that is. My Lap has been scheduled for June 1st @ 7AM. Not so much looking forward to it, especially since I've been in the ER twice in the past 2 weeks (for completely non Endo related incidents) and I'm sick of the hospital. Oh wells... c'est la vie!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Lap#2, here I come :(
Here I am 4 days into my mega-pain incident and I just had a nice little conversation with my doc. Looks like Lap#2 is in the cards for me. The pain has been increasing for the past 2 months, what with the "sitting-on-a-knife" feeling, then my bladder problems, horrible super clotty/excrutiating AF's and now this stupid ovary... *sigh* Is it psycho of me to actually be relieved that this surgery is coming? I'm just so at a loss as to what else to do. I can't take the pain meds that work b/c they knock me out but I can't function without them either because the pain is so great it makes me throw up throughout the day... It's not good when you look upon surgery as a joyful event, but what can I say... what else is there to do?!?!
I've been in such a bad state the past few days that I seriously started considering getting rid of that ovary... Thank goodness my doctor was able to talk some sense into me and remind me of our hopes and dreams of children some day. He's gonna check it out and do as much repair work as possible (with that wrap stuff that prevents further adhesion build up) and drill the cysts out, etc. but is very weary of just cutting it out. We're gonna talk more about that at my appt in a few weeks for my pre-op etc. I have to get with my boss tomorrow to solidify a date but right now we're thinking end of May/beg of June.
He's calling me in some Zofran, Tramadol, and more Ibuprofen 800mg. I'm gonna keep up with my Yoga, relaxation breathing, and health(ier) eating in hopes to make it through these next few weeks as sane as possible.
Have I mentioned how much I HATE Endo?!?!? :(
I've been in such a bad state the past few days that I seriously started considering getting rid of that ovary... Thank goodness my doctor was able to talk some sense into me and remind me of our hopes and dreams of children some day. He's gonna check it out and do as much repair work as possible (with that wrap stuff that prevents further adhesion build up) and drill the cysts out, etc. but is very weary of just cutting it out. We're gonna talk more about that at my appt in a few weeks for my pre-op etc. I have to get with my boss tomorrow to solidify a date but right now we're thinking end of May/beg of June.
He's calling me in some Zofran, Tramadol, and more Ibuprofen 800mg. I'm gonna keep up with my Yoga, relaxation breathing, and health(ier) eating in hopes to make it through these next few weeks as sane as possible.
Have I mentioned how much I HATE Endo?!?!? :(
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Rethinking this Mirena thing....
Since my last post the pain has continued to increase in frequency as well as intensity and duration. My migraines are still being held at bay (thank goodness for that at least!) but man, the pain is killing me. This is all starting to feel uncomfortably too familiar. It hasn't been 2 years since my lap and here I am again feeling very much like I was months before I had it. I feel myself slipping with regards to energy and how much I have to give to my everyday responsibilities... With work, school, hubby, and church callings I'm beginning to feel much like Bilbo Baggins, "like not enough butter spread over too much bread."
The plan was to get the Mirena next month, but I wonder now if that will even be worth it when my pain (especially with regards to my bladder and bowel movements) has increased this much in just a span of a month and 1/2. I know the Mirena helps with not letting the Endo progress as well as with the bleeding, but will it even touch my other symptoms? Why put myself through a painful insertion and 6 months of crazy bleeding when it may not even help? Does that make sense or am I just panicking?
I think I need to have a good talk with my doc and explore other options. I know this sounds insane, but I want to have another Lap. I figure if we go in and do some more work on those adhesions and endometriomas, perhaps I can have the Mirena placed during the surgery and we can start from a better place... I'm not sure if this is possible or if my doc will even go for it, but I don't really know what else to do/try/think.
On another note, I've taken up yoga and am working on cutting out wheat from my diet. I've increased my flaxseed intake and am thinking of adding fish to my diet. (I was allergic to it most of my childhood and just never learned to like it.) I know this won't make all the pain go away, but at least its a start, right?... I hope?
Tonight is going to be another Lortab night... *sigh*
The plan was to get the Mirena next month, but I wonder now if that will even be worth it when my pain (especially with regards to my bladder and bowel movements) has increased this much in just a span of a month and 1/2. I know the Mirena helps with not letting the Endo progress as well as with the bleeding, but will it even touch my other symptoms? Why put myself through a painful insertion and 6 months of crazy bleeding when it may not even help? Does that make sense or am I just panicking?
I think I need to have a good talk with my doc and explore other options. I know this sounds insane, but I want to have another Lap. I figure if we go in and do some more work on those adhesions and endometriomas, perhaps I can have the Mirena placed during the surgery and we can start from a better place... I'm not sure if this is possible or if my doc will even go for it, but I don't really know what else to do/try/think.
On another note, I've taken up yoga and am working on cutting out wheat from my diet. I've increased my flaxseed intake and am thinking of adding fish to my diet. (I was allergic to it most of my childhood and just never learned to like it.) I know this won't make all the pain go away, but at least its a start, right?... I hope?
Tonight is going to be another Lortab night... *sigh*
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Going Under (Part 3)
August 31st, 2007 was hands down one of the best, yet worst days of my life. It started very early since I had to be at the hospital at 6:15 to get prepped for my surgery at 8am. Really the preperation started the day before with the horrid bowel prep and Cytotec (meant to dialate my cervix overnight). Honestly, the Cytotec was worse than the bowel prep! My doctor had me take 2 Lortabs with it, but I still woke up at 3am thinking I was dying. "Cramps" is not even the right word to describe it... seeing as this is what they give women to help them dialate and go into active labor (prior to Pitocin) I guess you could call them "contractions", only there would be no baby at the end. Oh no... no baby, but still worlds of pain that the Lortab did absolutely NOTHING for.
Overnight bag in hand, clutching my favorite Harry Potter book, and my husband and mom (who had flown down for a week and 1/2 to help, bless her heart!) we arrived early and sat for a while until I was called. Ben was allowed to go back with me, thank goodness because I was a nervous wreck. I had been told that once my IV was started they would be able to give me something to help me relax, but when I asked the nurse about it, she informed me that this would not be possible. I FREAKED. My doctor came to see me, went over the surgery plan, and tried to cheer me up some. I don't know if he sensed that I was on the verge of hysterics and maybe went to talk to the anaesthesiologist, but within 5 minutes my "new best friend" was there, drugs in hand. I did end up breaking down and crying, but that didn't last long because the anaesthesiologist kindly sent me into la-la land quickly after placing the most wonderful anti-nausea patch behind my ear that I was allowed to keep on for 2 days! I remember watching them inject something into my IV and within seconds I felt like I was floating off my gurney! Ben kissed me goodbye and off I went. I am SO grateful for whatever it was they gave me because as they were wheeling me down the hall and all those lights were passing me by overhead, I remember thinking "I should be terrified right now... hmm, thats odd... oh well." :) In the operating room I was immediately surrounded by a gazillion smiling faces! Such friendly nurses, I thought. One asked me if I was cold (maybe I was shivering?) and before I could even answer, I could feel a bunch of warm blankets being put on me, even wrapped around my head! Oh it felt so good! That same nurse stroked my arm and told me she was going to give me some oxygen (yeah right) and that I should breathe in deeply. The mask was put over my face and I prepared for the sickly sweet smell of the anaesthesia I remember from my tonsilectomy as a child, only it never came. Maybe it really was just oxygen? Or maybe they've improved the scent of anaesthesia! Who knows... in any case, I don't think I took more than 2 breaths before I was g-o-n-e.
When I woke up I was cold... and in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Immediately a nurse rushed over and asked me if I was cold... yes! Was I in pain? YES! She quickly brought me more warm blankets and shot something into my IV. I went back to sleep. This happened quite a few times, until I started feeling a bit more lucid between catnaps. It was now close to 1PM and I wanted to see my husband. I was informed that I was in Phase 1 recovery and would be able to see him shortly when they transfered me to Phase 2. A good friend of the family (who worked at the hospital) came to see me and bring news. I had asked Ben to make sure he found out what stage Endo I had when my doctor finished up with me. It was the first question I needed answered. I knew he would have told her, so I asked. I knew it before she even spoke because of the look on her face. "Stage 4, honey. I'm sorry..." I cried... and cried... and cried. It made sense, really, but I had always held onto the hope that just maybe I would be one of those women that had a mild stage of the disease and just had a lot of pain. After all, the amount of pain and the gravity of the disease are not directley proportional. But no... that was not the case, and I would soon find out just how bad my Endo was.
My stay in the hospital was pretty nice. Odd, I know, but really I wish I could have stayed longer! Every 4 hours a nice nurse would come in and shoot me up with some more painkillers, which was great because at about 3 1/2 hours later I would be in considerable amounts of pain and by the 4th hour I was on the verge of tears. Getting in and out of bed to go to the bathroom was... well, terrible. I remember everyone telling me to "use my legs" but they felt like jello, how do you get around that? My belly was HUGE and bruised and I my 4 inscisions looked nasty. They were closed with surgical glue and not even bandaged, so there they were in all their bloody, nasty, scary glory! Peeing was near impossible for that first afternoon, I almost had to be cathetered again. Once I finally was able to *tinkle* I had to do it in a measuring cup sort of thing and it was BLUE from the dye used during the Lap. (I had an HSG done as well) I freaked out and Ben had to explain why that was happening. My doped up/paranoid mind was conjuring up thoughts of kidney failure or something along the lines of that! I had my appendix removed during the Lap and so I was on a liquid diet that day, which was fine by me because I was so not hungry. But the apple juice and jello were appreciated.
The next morning my doctor came to see me now that I was more lucid and able to retain information. He brought with him tons of pictures (that I was able to keep!) and also drew me a diagram of what he found inside me. First of all, my pelvis was pretty much frozen. Everything was glued together with adhesions. My uterus was glued to my bladder, my intestines, and peritoneal wall. My intestines were also glued to my peritoneal wall. My appendix was covered in Endo and curled up/glued to my right ovary and tube. Finally, an explanation for all those trips to the ER with "appendicitis" that never turned out to be anything real! My doctor took that little sucker right out, and for that I will be eternally grateful to him! My poor ovaries were covered in countless cysts and many endometriomas. He showed me pictures of my pock-marked ovaries after they'd all been drained and shelled out. I had had a fibroid removed off my uterus and had needed a D&C to clean out the inside of my uterus to stop all the bleeding. An HSG was performed to clear out my tubes. He said it was all a huge mess. It was horrifying yet SO vindicating at the same time. All these looooooong years of being told this was just all in my head, that I just had a "low pain tolerance" finally made sense. I wasn't crazy after all, and there WAS a cause for my pain, which was VERY MUCH REAL. Like I said, it was the best and worst day at the same time for that reason. I FINALLY had my diagnosis.
Later that day I was discharged and sent home to heal. I did not want to leave. I loved my bed that made it easier to get up and down. I loved that nurses were there with more pain meds and comforting smiles. As a parting token, I was given an abdominal binder which would become my new best friend for the weeks to follow. Every time I stood up, it felt like my internal organs were falling out. It was painful and pretty scary. I had a lot of mesh put in to hold everything in place once all the adhesions were cut, so I imagine thats where the "falling out" sensation stemmed from, since my organs were now free to move around like they should in a normal pelvis. This however, was not fun and hurt quite a bit, but the abdominal binder helped a great deal in that respect.
Recovery at home was long and hard. I was very frustrated because I had heard that this was the type of surgery that you could have on a Friday (which I did) and return to work on Monday. I did not. I could barely walk around for more than 5 minutes at a time that Monday. On Friday I made my first trip out of the house and it just about killed me. I felt so weak and the pain was still very much present. I was supposed to return to work the following Monday and I had no idea how I'd be able to. Returning to work also meant going off the Percocet which I could not imagine at that point. From the outside, all you could see were (4) inch long inscisions. Why was I having such a hard time? My mom and Ben kept reminding me that the real healing was taking place inside, where the damage couldn't be seen. I had to be patient with myself and be positive. Things would get better.
I did return to work the following week but only part-time the first week. I would come home and be so exhausetd I would crash on the couch and stay there until Ben came home from work. To be completely honest, it took about 6 weeks to get back to normal. I had some post-op complications including oral thrush, infections and a crazy allergic rash to the surgical glue used to close my inscisions. Definitely not a very fun recovery period, but things soon began to improve and I felt the old me resurfacing. By the old me I don't mean pre-op Alex... that pain-riddled, always exhauseted Alex was not me. I mean the Alex that existed before pain ruled my life. An Alex that had been burried for so long. The change was amazing. I had so much more energy! I no longer had to rely on painkillers to keep me going. I believed my surgery had been the miracle I'd been hoping for ... and for a while there it was, until the pain slowly started coming back. We were back to trying to conceive at this point and using Femara as the fertility drug of choice, since it is more Endo friendly than Clomid. However, my ovaries were not a fan... perhaps they were still healing and it was too soon to push them so far. Regardless, I only made it 4 months post-op before we were once again forced to switch modes. This time Lupron was the detour, a drug I'd been hoping to avoid.
Overnight bag in hand, clutching my favorite Harry Potter book, and my husband and mom (who had flown down for a week and 1/2 to help, bless her heart!) we arrived early and sat for a while until I was called. Ben was allowed to go back with me, thank goodness because I was a nervous wreck. I had been told that once my IV was started they would be able to give me something to help me relax, but when I asked the nurse about it, she informed me that this would not be possible. I FREAKED. My doctor came to see me, went over the surgery plan, and tried to cheer me up some. I don't know if he sensed that I was on the verge of hysterics and maybe went to talk to the anaesthesiologist, but within 5 minutes my "new best friend" was there, drugs in hand. I did end up breaking down and crying, but that didn't last long because the anaesthesiologist kindly sent me into la-la land quickly after placing the most wonderful anti-nausea patch behind my ear that I was allowed to keep on for 2 days! I remember watching them inject something into my IV and within seconds I felt like I was floating off my gurney! Ben kissed me goodbye and off I went. I am SO grateful for whatever it was they gave me because as they were wheeling me down the hall and all those lights were passing me by overhead, I remember thinking "I should be terrified right now... hmm, thats odd... oh well." :) In the operating room I was immediately surrounded by a gazillion smiling faces! Such friendly nurses, I thought. One asked me if I was cold (maybe I was shivering?) and before I could even answer, I could feel a bunch of warm blankets being put on me, even wrapped around my head! Oh it felt so good! That same nurse stroked my arm and told me she was going to give me some oxygen (yeah right) and that I should breathe in deeply. The mask was put over my face and I prepared for the sickly sweet smell of the anaesthesia I remember from my tonsilectomy as a child, only it never came. Maybe it really was just oxygen? Or maybe they've improved the scent of anaesthesia! Who knows... in any case, I don't think I took more than 2 breaths before I was g-o-n-e.
When I woke up I was cold... and in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Immediately a nurse rushed over and asked me if I was cold... yes! Was I in pain? YES! She quickly brought me more warm blankets and shot something into my IV. I went back to sleep. This happened quite a few times, until I started feeling a bit more lucid between catnaps. It was now close to 1PM and I wanted to see my husband. I was informed that I was in Phase 1 recovery and would be able to see him shortly when they transfered me to Phase 2. A good friend of the family (who worked at the hospital) came to see me and bring news. I had asked Ben to make sure he found out what stage Endo I had when my doctor finished up with me. It was the first question I needed answered. I knew he would have told her, so I asked. I knew it before she even spoke because of the look on her face. "Stage 4, honey. I'm sorry..." I cried... and cried... and cried. It made sense, really, but I had always held onto the hope that just maybe I would be one of those women that had a mild stage of the disease and just had a lot of pain. After all, the amount of pain and the gravity of the disease are not directley proportional. But no... that was not the case, and I would soon find out just how bad my Endo was.
My stay in the hospital was pretty nice. Odd, I know, but really I wish I could have stayed longer! Every 4 hours a nice nurse would come in and shoot me up with some more painkillers, which was great because at about 3 1/2 hours later I would be in considerable amounts of pain and by the 4th hour I was on the verge of tears. Getting in and out of bed to go to the bathroom was... well, terrible. I remember everyone telling me to "use my legs" but they felt like jello, how do you get around that? My belly was HUGE and bruised and I my 4 inscisions looked nasty. They were closed with surgical glue and not even bandaged, so there they were in all their bloody, nasty, scary glory! Peeing was near impossible for that first afternoon, I almost had to be cathetered again. Once I finally was able to *tinkle* I had to do it in a measuring cup sort of thing and it was BLUE from the dye used during the Lap. (I had an HSG done as well) I freaked out and Ben had to explain why that was happening. My doped up/paranoid mind was conjuring up thoughts of kidney failure or something along the lines of that! I had my appendix removed during the Lap and so I was on a liquid diet that day, which was fine by me because I was so not hungry. But the apple juice and jello were appreciated.
The next morning my doctor came to see me now that I was more lucid and able to retain information. He brought with him tons of pictures (that I was able to keep!) and also drew me a diagram of what he found inside me. First of all, my pelvis was pretty much frozen. Everything was glued together with adhesions. My uterus was glued to my bladder, my intestines, and peritoneal wall. My intestines were also glued to my peritoneal wall. My appendix was covered in Endo and curled up/glued to my right ovary and tube. Finally, an explanation for all those trips to the ER with "appendicitis" that never turned out to be anything real! My doctor took that little sucker right out, and for that I will be eternally grateful to him! My poor ovaries were covered in countless cysts and many endometriomas. He showed me pictures of my pock-marked ovaries after they'd all been drained and shelled out. I had had a fibroid removed off my uterus and had needed a D&C to clean out the inside of my uterus to stop all the bleeding. An HSG was performed to clear out my tubes. He said it was all a huge mess. It was horrifying yet SO vindicating at the same time. All these looooooong years of being told this was just all in my head, that I just had a "low pain tolerance" finally made sense. I wasn't crazy after all, and there WAS a cause for my pain, which was VERY MUCH REAL. Like I said, it was the best and worst day at the same time for that reason. I FINALLY had my diagnosis.
Later that day I was discharged and sent home to heal. I did not want to leave. I loved my bed that made it easier to get up and down. I loved that nurses were there with more pain meds and comforting smiles. As a parting token, I was given an abdominal binder which would become my new best friend for the weeks to follow. Every time I stood up, it felt like my internal organs were falling out. It was painful and pretty scary. I had a lot of mesh put in to hold everything in place once all the adhesions were cut, so I imagine thats where the "falling out" sensation stemmed from, since my organs were now free to move around like they should in a normal pelvis. This however, was not fun and hurt quite a bit, but the abdominal binder helped a great deal in that respect.
Recovery at home was long and hard. I was very frustrated because I had heard that this was the type of surgery that you could have on a Friday (which I did) and return to work on Monday. I did not. I could barely walk around for more than 5 minutes at a time that Monday. On Friday I made my first trip out of the house and it just about killed me. I felt so weak and the pain was still very much present. I was supposed to return to work the following Monday and I had no idea how I'd be able to. Returning to work also meant going off the Percocet which I could not imagine at that point. From the outside, all you could see were (4) inch long inscisions. Why was I having such a hard time? My mom and Ben kept reminding me that the real healing was taking place inside, where the damage couldn't be seen. I had to be patient with myself and be positive. Things would get better.
I did return to work the following week but only part-time the first week. I would come home and be so exhausetd I would crash on the couch and stay there until Ben came home from work. To be completely honest, it took about 6 weeks to get back to normal. I had some post-op complications including oral thrush, infections and a crazy allergic rash to the surgical glue used to close my inscisions. Definitely not a very fun recovery period, but things soon began to improve and I felt the old me resurfacing. By the old me I don't mean pre-op Alex... that pain-riddled, always exhauseted Alex was not me. I mean the Alex that existed before pain ruled my life. An Alex that had been burried for so long. The change was amazing. I had so much more energy! I no longer had to rely on painkillers to keep me going. I believed my surgery had been the miracle I'd been hoping for ... and for a while there it was, until the pain slowly started coming back. We were back to trying to conceive at this point and using Femara as the fertility drug of choice, since it is more Endo friendly than Clomid. However, my ovaries were not a fan... perhaps they were still healing and it was too soon to push them so far. Regardless, I only made it 4 months post-op before we were once again forced to switch modes. This time Lupron was the detour, a drug I'd been hoping to avoid.
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