My last Lupron shot was on June 24th and on July 22nd, I started up Femara again, so see if that would help wake up my ovaries and get me ovulating again. A few days after starting the Femara, I started feeling all those familiar "twinges" that got me thinking/hoping that this would actually work! However, something odd happened. I started using OPK's (ovulation predictor kits) and not only were they negatice... they were EXTREMELY negative! By that I mean that usually negative = testline is lighter than control line. In my case, I wasn't even getting a testline period! NONE, not even the kind that you can *almost* will into appearance if you turn the test strip juuuuuuuuuust right and squint! Heehee... ;)
Failure to stimulate was confirmed on my cycle day 11 ultrasound. There was just simply NOTHING there. My ovaries were still fast asleep... I guess they're enjoying their vacation too much, lazy bums! I was instructed to keep temping (just in case) and start Prometrium on cd18, continuing through cd29. All OPK's thereafter continued to be super-negative, so yeah... this cycle was a complet bust. I took my last Prometrium Tuesday night and as of yet, still no AF. As soon as she decides to show her face I will be able to start up the Femara again, but until then... the wait is on. :/
Showing posts with label Lupron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lupron. Show all posts
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Loopy on Lupron (Part 4)
Lupron was always a drug I'd hoped and prayed to avoid on my Endo journey. I had heard/read enough bad things about it to scare me half to death and balk when my doctor mentioned it right after my Lap, seeing as my case was so much more severe than we had anticipated. I declined it and insisted on giving Femara(as a fertility drug) a shot. After 4 cycles and still not pregnant, the pain was starting to come back and then I got another humongous cyst that made my right leg go numb for a while. I realized that sadly enough my Lap had not bought me the 6-9 months we had been hoping for, and after much thought and prayer decided to turn to the "evil" that is Lupron. I appologized to my husband in advance and warned him that it might be a while before he got his loving wife back. I cried myself silly, took a deep breath and called my doctor to tell him what we had decided. He himself has gone through having his wife on Lupron and knew how hard this would be for us. He had me start taking the add-back (Aygestin) right away and on January 15th, 2008 I began my monthly Lupron Depot 3.75 mg shots.
The first month was a breeze. I was expecting the heavy bleeding that comes a few weeks into the treatment. You typically get an initial "estrogen flare-up" that makes your symptoms worse and can bring on heavy bleeding. I did not. I remember calling up my doctor after 3 weeks worried because I had not been bleeding... I thought my crazy body was malfunctioning even then. I was told to relax, I was just one of the "lucky ones" and indeed with time I slowly began to realize that I was. The hot-flashes and night sweats set in pretty quickly, within the first few weeks. Honestly it wasn't any worse than what I had experienced on Clomid, so I wasn't too troubled. My moods were a bit more volatile, but again... Clomid had done MUCH worse to me, and so I happily proceeded to shot #2. That's when things started getting a little bit harder and the insomnia set in.
Never in my life have I realized just how much sleep matters to a person. At first it started with a lot of tossing and turning throughout the night. I could fall asleep just fine but my problem was staying asleep. When I mentioned this, I was told to try Benadryl. It worked... somewhat. Again, I would fall asleep just fine and maybe it would buy me another hour of straight sleep but no more than that. By now I was onto shot #3. I was sleeping about 4-5 hours a night which was still doable, but it was starting to take its toll on me. Day after day, the exhaustion kept building and again I mentioned it to my doctor who told me to try Unisom instead. Again, this worked somewhat, but after a few weeks it made little difference. This is when the true hell began for me. I was working full time and getting up at 5am to teach an early morning scripture class for the youth at our church Monday - Friday. I would get home at about 6:30-7PM each day, eat dinner, plan my next day's class and then crash and fall asleep on the couch by about 8:30 each night. Ben would pretty much drag me up to bed where I would sleep until about 11 and then I'd be awake the rest of the night. Sometimes I would manage to half doze off, but I would never quite get to that "all the way asleep" state. Day after day I would drag myself out of bed at 5am and cry because I didn't think I could actually make it through my day. I started losing my memory... I would forget how I got to certain places, or what someone had just told me not more than 5 minutes before. I started making big mistakes at work and 1/2 the time I felt like I was going insane. One day I just had a complete meltdown. It was Sunday and I was trying to get up and get ready for church but I just couldn't. I lost it and just sobbed for hours. I was completely irrational and was convinced I was going to die if I didn't get more than 1-2 hours of sleep. My husband made me call my doctor right then and there and tell him what was going on. I must've sounded like a blubbering fool on the phone, but my doctor called me in some sleeping pills right away. I took a week break from my early morning teaching to help me catch up on my sleep and things quickly turned around. I could finally sleep again! Those little pills became my lifeline. I could NOT have made it through the rest of my shots without them.
Shots # 4 & 5 were pretty uneventful except for the fact that I started having constant spotting for those 2 months. It just came on with no explanation and just as unexpectedly stopped the very day I received my last shot! My mood was very much improved now that I was sleeping again. Those pills were a life-saver. The second 1/2 of my treatment pretty much flew by with no significant problems. I did, however, get a lot of migraines for the first 2 weeks after each shot. Each month they got a little bit worse but compared to the insomnia they were much more managable.
June 24th, 2008 I recieved my 6th and final Lupron shot. My doctor, nurse, and I were SO excited! I had survived! I'd been pain-free since my 3rd shot and so we all felt that I was in pretty good shape and decided against a second 6-month round. We planned to start me on the Femara the same day I *would* have had a 7th shot, 4 weeks later, to help my body start waking up so we could start trying to conceive as soon as possible. So here we are, on our way to trying to get pregnant again! I just took my last Femara pill last night and am due for an ultrasound this Friday to see if my ovaries are responding or if they are still slumbering away. I've started feeling some familar twinges (the kind I felt when I was on Femara before) and so my hopes are that something is happening in there.
All in all, despite the 3 months of no sleep and the migraines... I really do consider myself lucky in the sense that I survived Lupron. I am completely off my sleeping pills now and starting to get some decent rest all on my own. The first few days were rough, but its getting better. I am still pain free and am feeling pretty good all around! I do not know if this will help us conceive, and I certainly know not to expect the pain to be gone forever, but it has been a very nice break so far. I suppose only time will tell whether or not it was worth it to do the Lupron, but so far I'm happy with our decision to give it a shot. I know that Lupron is a highly disputed and controversial "treatment" and that it doesn't work for everyone. I recognize that many have been burned by it and regret dearly having tried it. For them I am very sorry and wish it had been different. I am in no way recommending Lupron, just sharing what it has done to and for me. Perhaps I will have luck with it and it will help me conceive like it did for my doctor's wife.... and perhaps not, but for now I'm glad I did it, but more glad that its finally over! It wasn't as awful as I'd heard it would be, but it was still hard enough.
The first month was a breeze. I was expecting the heavy bleeding that comes a few weeks into the treatment. You typically get an initial "estrogen flare-up" that makes your symptoms worse and can bring on heavy bleeding. I did not. I remember calling up my doctor after 3 weeks worried because I had not been bleeding... I thought my crazy body was malfunctioning even then. I was told to relax, I was just one of the "lucky ones" and indeed with time I slowly began to realize that I was. The hot-flashes and night sweats set in pretty quickly, within the first few weeks. Honestly it wasn't any worse than what I had experienced on Clomid, so I wasn't too troubled. My moods were a bit more volatile, but again... Clomid had done MUCH worse to me, and so I happily proceeded to shot #2. That's when things started getting a little bit harder and the insomnia set in.
Never in my life have I realized just how much sleep matters to a person. At first it started with a lot of tossing and turning throughout the night. I could fall asleep just fine but my problem was staying asleep. When I mentioned this, I was told to try Benadryl. It worked... somewhat. Again, I would fall asleep just fine and maybe it would buy me another hour of straight sleep but no more than that. By now I was onto shot #3. I was sleeping about 4-5 hours a night which was still doable, but it was starting to take its toll on me. Day after day, the exhaustion kept building and again I mentioned it to my doctor who told me to try Unisom instead. Again, this worked somewhat, but after a few weeks it made little difference. This is when the true hell began for me. I was working full time and getting up at 5am to teach an early morning scripture class for the youth at our church Monday - Friday. I would get home at about 6:30-7PM each day, eat dinner, plan my next day's class and then crash and fall asleep on the couch by about 8:30 each night. Ben would pretty much drag me up to bed where I would sleep until about 11 and then I'd be awake the rest of the night. Sometimes I would manage to half doze off, but I would never quite get to that "all the way asleep" state. Day after day I would drag myself out of bed at 5am and cry because I didn't think I could actually make it through my day. I started losing my memory... I would forget how I got to certain places, or what someone had just told me not more than 5 minutes before. I started making big mistakes at work and 1/2 the time I felt like I was going insane. One day I just had a complete meltdown. It was Sunday and I was trying to get up and get ready for church but I just couldn't. I lost it and just sobbed for hours. I was completely irrational and was convinced I was going to die if I didn't get more than 1-2 hours of sleep. My husband made me call my doctor right then and there and tell him what was going on. I must've sounded like a blubbering fool on the phone, but my doctor called me in some sleeping pills right away. I took a week break from my early morning teaching to help me catch up on my sleep and things quickly turned around. I could finally sleep again! Those little pills became my lifeline. I could NOT have made it through the rest of my shots without them.
Shots # 4 & 5 were pretty uneventful except for the fact that I started having constant spotting for those 2 months. It just came on with no explanation and just as unexpectedly stopped the very day I received my last shot! My mood was very much improved now that I was sleeping again. Those pills were a life-saver. The second 1/2 of my treatment pretty much flew by with no significant problems. I did, however, get a lot of migraines for the first 2 weeks after each shot. Each month they got a little bit worse but compared to the insomnia they were much more managable.
June 24th, 2008 I recieved my 6th and final Lupron shot. My doctor, nurse, and I were SO excited! I had survived! I'd been pain-free since my 3rd shot and so we all felt that I was in pretty good shape and decided against a second 6-month round. We planned to start me on the Femara the same day I *would* have had a 7th shot, 4 weeks later, to help my body start waking up so we could start trying to conceive as soon as possible. So here we are, on our way to trying to get pregnant again! I just took my last Femara pill last night and am due for an ultrasound this Friday to see if my ovaries are responding or if they are still slumbering away. I've started feeling some familar twinges (the kind I felt when I was on Femara before) and so my hopes are that something is happening in there.
All in all, despite the 3 months of no sleep and the migraines... I really do consider myself lucky in the sense that I survived Lupron. I am completely off my sleeping pills now and starting to get some decent rest all on my own. The first few days were rough, but its getting better. I am still pain free and am feeling pretty good all around! I do not know if this will help us conceive, and I certainly know not to expect the pain to be gone forever, but it has been a very nice break so far. I suppose only time will tell whether or not it was worth it to do the Lupron, but so far I'm happy with our decision to give it a shot. I know that Lupron is a highly disputed and controversial "treatment" and that it doesn't work for everyone. I recognize that many have been burned by it and regret dearly having tried it. For them I am very sorry and wish it had been different. I am in no way recommending Lupron, just sharing what it has done to and for me. Perhaps I will have luck with it and it will help me conceive like it did for my doctor's wife.... and perhaps not, but for now I'm glad I did it, but more glad that its finally over! It wasn't as awful as I'd heard it would be, but it was still hard enough.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Going Under (Part 3)
August 31st, 2007 was hands down one of the best, yet worst days of my life. It started very early since I had to be at the hospital at 6:15 to get prepped for my surgery at 8am. Really the preperation started the day before with the horrid bowel prep and Cytotec (meant to dialate my cervix overnight). Honestly, the Cytotec was worse than the bowel prep! My doctor had me take 2 Lortabs with it, but I still woke up at 3am thinking I was dying. "Cramps" is not even the right word to describe it... seeing as this is what they give women to help them dialate and go into active labor (prior to Pitocin) I guess you could call them "contractions", only there would be no baby at the end. Oh no... no baby, but still worlds of pain that the Lortab did absolutely NOTHING for.
Overnight bag in hand, clutching my favorite Harry Potter book, and my husband and mom (who had flown down for a week and 1/2 to help, bless her heart!) we arrived early and sat for a while until I was called. Ben was allowed to go back with me, thank goodness because I was a nervous wreck. I had been told that once my IV was started they would be able to give me something to help me relax, but when I asked the nurse about it, she informed me that this would not be possible. I FREAKED. My doctor came to see me, went over the surgery plan, and tried to cheer me up some. I don't know if he sensed that I was on the verge of hysterics and maybe went to talk to the anaesthesiologist, but within 5 minutes my "new best friend" was there, drugs in hand. I did end up breaking down and crying, but that didn't last long because the anaesthesiologist kindly sent me into la-la land quickly after placing the most wonderful anti-nausea patch behind my ear that I was allowed to keep on for 2 days! I remember watching them inject something into my IV and within seconds I felt like I was floating off my gurney! Ben kissed me goodbye and off I went. I am SO grateful for whatever it was they gave me because as they were wheeling me down the hall and all those lights were passing me by overhead, I remember thinking "I should be terrified right now... hmm, thats odd... oh well." :) In the operating room I was immediately surrounded by a gazillion smiling faces! Such friendly nurses, I thought. One asked me if I was cold (maybe I was shivering?) and before I could even answer, I could feel a bunch of warm blankets being put on me, even wrapped around my head! Oh it felt so good! That same nurse stroked my arm and told me she was going to give me some oxygen (yeah right) and that I should breathe in deeply. The mask was put over my face and I prepared for the sickly sweet smell of the anaesthesia I remember from my tonsilectomy as a child, only it never came. Maybe it really was just oxygen? Or maybe they've improved the scent of anaesthesia! Who knows... in any case, I don't think I took more than 2 breaths before I was g-o-n-e.
When I woke up I was cold... and in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Immediately a nurse rushed over and asked me if I was cold... yes! Was I in pain? YES! She quickly brought me more warm blankets and shot something into my IV. I went back to sleep. This happened quite a few times, until I started feeling a bit more lucid between catnaps. It was now close to 1PM and I wanted to see my husband. I was informed that I was in Phase 1 recovery and would be able to see him shortly when they transfered me to Phase 2. A good friend of the family (who worked at the hospital) came to see me and bring news. I had asked Ben to make sure he found out what stage Endo I had when my doctor finished up with me. It was the first question I needed answered. I knew he would have told her, so I asked. I knew it before she even spoke because of the look on her face. "Stage 4, honey. I'm sorry..." I cried... and cried... and cried. It made sense, really, but I had always held onto the hope that just maybe I would be one of those women that had a mild stage of the disease and just had a lot of pain. After all, the amount of pain and the gravity of the disease are not directley proportional. But no... that was not the case, and I would soon find out just how bad my Endo was.
My stay in the hospital was pretty nice. Odd, I know, but really I wish I could have stayed longer! Every 4 hours a nice nurse would come in and shoot me up with some more painkillers, which was great because at about 3 1/2 hours later I would be in considerable amounts of pain and by the 4th hour I was on the verge of tears. Getting in and out of bed to go to the bathroom was... well, terrible. I remember everyone telling me to "use my legs" but they felt like jello, how do you get around that? My belly was HUGE and bruised and I my 4 inscisions looked nasty. They were closed with surgical glue and not even bandaged, so there they were in all their bloody, nasty, scary glory! Peeing was near impossible for that first afternoon, I almost had to be cathetered again. Once I finally was able to *tinkle* I had to do it in a measuring cup sort of thing and it was BLUE from the dye used during the Lap. (I had an HSG done as well) I freaked out and Ben had to explain why that was happening. My doped up/paranoid mind was conjuring up thoughts of kidney failure or something along the lines of that! I had my appendix removed during the Lap and so I was on a liquid diet that day, which was fine by me because I was so not hungry. But the apple juice and jello were appreciated.
The next morning my doctor came to see me now that I was more lucid and able to retain information. He brought with him tons of pictures (that I was able to keep!) and also drew me a diagram of what he found inside me. First of all, my pelvis was pretty much frozen. Everything was glued together with adhesions. My uterus was glued to my bladder, my intestines, and peritoneal wall. My intestines were also glued to my peritoneal wall. My appendix was covered in Endo and curled up/glued to my right ovary and tube. Finally, an explanation for all those trips to the ER with "appendicitis" that never turned out to be anything real! My doctor took that little sucker right out, and for that I will be eternally grateful to him! My poor ovaries were covered in countless cysts and many endometriomas. He showed me pictures of my pock-marked ovaries after they'd all been drained and shelled out. I had had a fibroid removed off my uterus and had needed a D&C to clean out the inside of my uterus to stop all the bleeding. An HSG was performed to clear out my tubes. He said it was all a huge mess. It was horrifying yet SO vindicating at the same time. All these looooooong years of being told this was just all in my head, that I just had a "low pain tolerance" finally made sense. I wasn't crazy after all, and there WAS a cause for my pain, which was VERY MUCH REAL. Like I said, it was the best and worst day at the same time for that reason. I FINALLY had my diagnosis.
Later that day I was discharged and sent home to heal. I did not want to leave. I loved my bed that made it easier to get up and down. I loved that nurses were there with more pain meds and comforting smiles. As a parting token, I was given an abdominal binder which would become my new best friend for the weeks to follow. Every time I stood up, it felt like my internal organs were falling out. It was painful and pretty scary. I had a lot of mesh put in to hold everything in place once all the adhesions were cut, so I imagine thats where the "falling out" sensation stemmed from, since my organs were now free to move around like they should in a normal pelvis. This however, was not fun and hurt quite a bit, but the abdominal binder helped a great deal in that respect.
Recovery at home was long and hard. I was very frustrated because I had heard that this was the type of surgery that you could have on a Friday (which I did) and return to work on Monday. I did not. I could barely walk around for more than 5 minutes at a time that Monday. On Friday I made my first trip out of the house and it just about killed me. I felt so weak and the pain was still very much present. I was supposed to return to work the following Monday and I had no idea how I'd be able to. Returning to work also meant going off the Percocet which I could not imagine at that point. From the outside, all you could see were (4) inch long inscisions. Why was I having such a hard time? My mom and Ben kept reminding me that the real healing was taking place inside, where the damage couldn't be seen. I had to be patient with myself and be positive. Things would get better.
I did return to work the following week but only part-time the first week. I would come home and be so exhausetd I would crash on the couch and stay there until Ben came home from work. To be completely honest, it took about 6 weeks to get back to normal. I had some post-op complications including oral thrush, infections and a crazy allergic rash to the surgical glue used to close my inscisions. Definitely not a very fun recovery period, but things soon began to improve and I felt the old me resurfacing. By the old me I don't mean pre-op Alex... that pain-riddled, always exhauseted Alex was not me. I mean the Alex that existed before pain ruled my life. An Alex that had been burried for so long. The change was amazing. I had so much more energy! I no longer had to rely on painkillers to keep me going. I believed my surgery had been the miracle I'd been hoping for ... and for a while there it was, until the pain slowly started coming back. We were back to trying to conceive at this point and using Femara as the fertility drug of choice, since it is more Endo friendly than Clomid. However, my ovaries were not a fan... perhaps they were still healing and it was too soon to push them so far. Regardless, I only made it 4 months post-op before we were once again forced to switch modes. This time Lupron was the detour, a drug I'd been hoping to avoid.
Overnight bag in hand, clutching my favorite Harry Potter book, and my husband and mom (who had flown down for a week and 1/2 to help, bless her heart!) we arrived early and sat for a while until I was called. Ben was allowed to go back with me, thank goodness because I was a nervous wreck. I had been told that once my IV was started they would be able to give me something to help me relax, but when I asked the nurse about it, she informed me that this would not be possible. I FREAKED. My doctor came to see me, went over the surgery plan, and tried to cheer me up some. I don't know if he sensed that I was on the verge of hysterics and maybe went to talk to the anaesthesiologist, but within 5 minutes my "new best friend" was there, drugs in hand. I did end up breaking down and crying, but that didn't last long because the anaesthesiologist kindly sent me into la-la land quickly after placing the most wonderful anti-nausea patch behind my ear that I was allowed to keep on for 2 days! I remember watching them inject something into my IV and within seconds I felt like I was floating off my gurney! Ben kissed me goodbye and off I went. I am SO grateful for whatever it was they gave me because as they were wheeling me down the hall and all those lights were passing me by overhead, I remember thinking "I should be terrified right now... hmm, thats odd... oh well." :) In the operating room I was immediately surrounded by a gazillion smiling faces! Such friendly nurses, I thought. One asked me if I was cold (maybe I was shivering?) and before I could even answer, I could feel a bunch of warm blankets being put on me, even wrapped around my head! Oh it felt so good! That same nurse stroked my arm and told me she was going to give me some oxygen (yeah right) and that I should breathe in deeply. The mask was put over my face and I prepared for the sickly sweet smell of the anaesthesia I remember from my tonsilectomy as a child, only it never came. Maybe it really was just oxygen? Or maybe they've improved the scent of anaesthesia! Who knows... in any case, I don't think I took more than 2 breaths before I was g-o-n-e.
When I woke up I was cold... and in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Immediately a nurse rushed over and asked me if I was cold... yes! Was I in pain? YES! She quickly brought me more warm blankets and shot something into my IV. I went back to sleep. This happened quite a few times, until I started feeling a bit more lucid between catnaps. It was now close to 1PM and I wanted to see my husband. I was informed that I was in Phase 1 recovery and would be able to see him shortly when they transfered me to Phase 2. A good friend of the family (who worked at the hospital) came to see me and bring news. I had asked Ben to make sure he found out what stage Endo I had when my doctor finished up with me. It was the first question I needed answered. I knew he would have told her, so I asked. I knew it before she even spoke because of the look on her face. "Stage 4, honey. I'm sorry..." I cried... and cried... and cried. It made sense, really, but I had always held onto the hope that just maybe I would be one of those women that had a mild stage of the disease and just had a lot of pain. After all, the amount of pain and the gravity of the disease are not directley proportional. But no... that was not the case, and I would soon find out just how bad my Endo was.
My stay in the hospital was pretty nice. Odd, I know, but really I wish I could have stayed longer! Every 4 hours a nice nurse would come in and shoot me up with some more painkillers, which was great because at about 3 1/2 hours later I would be in considerable amounts of pain and by the 4th hour I was on the verge of tears. Getting in and out of bed to go to the bathroom was... well, terrible. I remember everyone telling me to "use my legs" but they felt like jello, how do you get around that? My belly was HUGE and bruised and I my 4 inscisions looked nasty. They were closed with surgical glue and not even bandaged, so there they were in all their bloody, nasty, scary glory! Peeing was near impossible for that first afternoon, I almost had to be cathetered again. Once I finally was able to *tinkle* I had to do it in a measuring cup sort of thing and it was BLUE from the dye used during the Lap. (I had an HSG done as well) I freaked out and Ben had to explain why that was happening. My doped up/paranoid mind was conjuring up thoughts of kidney failure or something along the lines of that! I had my appendix removed during the Lap and so I was on a liquid diet that day, which was fine by me because I was so not hungry. But the apple juice and jello were appreciated.
The next morning my doctor came to see me now that I was more lucid and able to retain information. He brought with him tons of pictures (that I was able to keep!) and also drew me a diagram of what he found inside me. First of all, my pelvis was pretty much frozen. Everything was glued together with adhesions. My uterus was glued to my bladder, my intestines, and peritoneal wall. My intestines were also glued to my peritoneal wall. My appendix was covered in Endo and curled up/glued to my right ovary and tube. Finally, an explanation for all those trips to the ER with "appendicitis" that never turned out to be anything real! My doctor took that little sucker right out, and for that I will be eternally grateful to him! My poor ovaries were covered in countless cysts and many endometriomas. He showed me pictures of my pock-marked ovaries after they'd all been drained and shelled out. I had had a fibroid removed off my uterus and had needed a D&C to clean out the inside of my uterus to stop all the bleeding. An HSG was performed to clear out my tubes. He said it was all a huge mess. It was horrifying yet SO vindicating at the same time. All these looooooong years of being told this was just all in my head, that I just had a "low pain tolerance" finally made sense. I wasn't crazy after all, and there WAS a cause for my pain, which was VERY MUCH REAL. Like I said, it was the best and worst day at the same time for that reason. I FINALLY had my diagnosis.
Later that day I was discharged and sent home to heal. I did not want to leave. I loved my bed that made it easier to get up and down. I loved that nurses were there with more pain meds and comforting smiles. As a parting token, I was given an abdominal binder which would become my new best friend for the weeks to follow. Every time I stood up, it felt like my internal organs were falling out. It was painful and pretty scary. I had a lot of mesh put in to hold everything in place once all the adhesions were cut, so I imagine thats where the "falling out" sensation stemmed from, since my organs were now free to move around like they should in a normal pelvis. This however, was not fun and hurt quite a bit, but the abdominal binder helped a great deal in that respect.
Recovery at home was long and hard. I was very frustrated because I had heard that this was the type of surgery that you could have on a Friday (which I did) and return to work on Monday. I did not. I could barely walk around for more than 5 minutes at a time that Monday. On Friday I made my first trip out of the house and it just about killed me. I felt so weak and the pain was still very much present. I was supposed to return to work the following Monday and I had no idea how I'd be able to. Returning to work also meant going off the Percocet which I could not imagine at that point. From the outside, all you could see were (4) inch long inscisions. Why was I having such a hard time? My mom and Ben kept reminding me that the real healing was taking place inside, where the damage couldn't be seen. I had to be patient with myself and be positive. Things would get better.
I did return to work the following week but only part-time the first week. I would come home and be so exhausetd I would crash on the couch and stay there until Ben came home from work. To be completely honest, it took about 6 weeks to get back to normal. I had some post-op complications including oral thrush, infections and a crazy allergic rash to the surgical glue used to close my inscisions. Definitely not a very fun recovery period, but things soon began to improve and I felt the old me resurfacing. By the old me I don't mean pre-op Alex... that pain-riddled, always exhauseted Alex was not me. I mean the Alex that existed before pain ruled my life. An Alex that had been burried for so long. The change was amazing. I had so much more energy! I no longer had to rely on painkillers to keep me going. I believed my surgery had been the miracle I'd been hoping for ... and for a while there it was, until the pain slowly started coming back. We were back to trying to conceive at this point and using Femara as the fertility drug of choice, since it is more Endo friendly than Clomid. However, my ovaries were not a fan... perhaps they were still healing and it was too soon to push them so far. Regardless, I only made it 4 months post-op before we were once again forced to switch modes. This time Lupron was the detour, a drug I'd been hoping to avoid.
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